MUNICH TOUR: Does your trip to Munich have a very tight schedule? Or maybe you’ve been hanging out too long at the Oktoberfest and have realised that you haven’t seen anything of the city yet?
GREAT VIEW: Pause on your Munich tour for a great
view of the Marienplatz from under the
arches of the Altes Rathaus (Old Town Hall).
Well, fear not, this guide is here to show you the way. The web’s first, only and absolutely bestest guide to getting the most of out Munich in just 120 minutes!
Start point: Marienplatz
12.00pm – Kick off your flying tour at the crack of midday, just in time to watch the Glockenspiel chime away on the face of the neo-gothic Neues Rathaus (New Town Hall).
Now wade left through the crowds, don’t loiter at the Fish Fountain like everyone else, just keep on going!
Stop at the archway under the Altes Rathaus (Old Town Hall) and do a 180-spin for the best ground-level shot of Marienplatz and the twin-domes of the Frauenkirche cathedral.
No time to fuss over the focus, chop, chop!
Continue through the arches and say hi to the Juliet Statue on the left. Yeah, yeah, parting is sweet sorrow, but you’re on a schedule!
12.10pm - Turn on your heel and jog down to the Viktualienmarkt, Munich’s bustling outdoor marketplace.
Grab a Leberkässemmel (meatloaf bun) from one of the stands for sustenance. It’s mighty filling and you can chomp it down on the run.
TO MARKET: Drop by the Viktualienmarkt for a quick snack.
Part of any great Munich tour.
12.20pm - Do a turn around the maypole before hightailing out of the market down Rosental street.
Here you’ll find Angermaier, a renown Munich merchant for Lederhosen (leather shorts) and sexy and/or traditional Dirndl dresses.
This is where stars like Boris Becker and, believe it or not, Snoop Dogg have come to kit out.
Quick eye-scan for some nice get-up, no time to dally, slap it on and pay up before the shop assistant realises you’ve left your other clothes in the changing room.
12.40pm - Now you look like a real Bavarian, it’s time to party like one. Scamper back up to Marienplatz and jump in a rickshaw taxi with the name of Munich’s holiest of unholy venues on your lips – “Take me to the Hofbrauhaus”!
HALLOWED HALL: Stop into the Hofbrauhaus for
a quick drink.
12.50pm - No time for hanging around here, rush into the Schwemme drinking hall of this, the world’s most famous pub.
Grab a one-litre Maß glass of beer from a random table and toast its owner for his generous nature.
Take a healthy swig, Prost! Do a quick jig with the waiter/waitress of your choice and get out of there before someone calls security.
01.00pm - Outside again, dive back into the rickshaw. Directions to driver: “Alter Hof!” and he’ll spin you through the city’s original power base with its fabled Monkey Tower.
Continue north passing Max-Joeseph-Platz, soaking up brief views of the opera-riffic Nationaltheater, the royal Residenz and a statue of good King Max I Joseph.
01.10pm - Dismount at the first big bronze lion you see along Residenz Strasse. Give him a rub for luck, don’t feel silly everyone does it here!
Then saunter up to Munich’s most Italianate square, Odeonsplatz.
Skip up the stairs of the Feldherrnhalle (Field Marshall’s Hall) between yet more lions.
Spin around again and admire the view down Munich’s grandest boulevard, Ludwig Strasse, one Bavarian King’s answer to Paris’ Avenue des Champs Élysées.
See the Siegestor victory archway all the way up the end? Good! Tick it off, you’ve got to hustle!
01.20pm - You’ve done “the beer” now pay tribute to Munich’s other cultural pillar: “the art”.
Sprint through the archway to your right and you’re in the Hofgarten (Royal Garden).
Look back at the wall of the arcade where you came in.
It’s lined with frescoes depicting Bavarian history and its ruling Wittelsbach clan. Nice folks.
THE ART: The Wittelsbach historical frescoes
on the western side of the Hofgarten.
01.25pm - Now it’s time to run! Onwards across the Hofgarten and down the tunnel into the city’s vast park, the Englischer Garten.
And no bellyaching, thousands of people jog this route this every year as part of the Münchener Stadtlauf (city fun-run). Schnell! Schnell!
01.35pm - Branch off to the right as soon as you get into the park and follow the track past the little island with the Japanese Teahouse.
It was gift to Munich for hosting the 1972 Olympics.
Keep following the bend around to the head of the stream, past the massive Haus der Kunst art gallery.
One of the city’s poshest nightclubs, P1, is under there, but hey, it’s not open at this hour. Keep it up! Your Munich tour is almost done.
01.40pm - Head to the bridge over Prinzregenten Strasse and take in one of Munich’s wackiest sights, the guys and gals surfing full-length surfboards in the Eisbach stream.
SURFIN' DEUTSCHLAND: Surfers in Munich's Eisbach stream.
01.45pm - Now you can take a chill pill, catch your breath, wind down.
It’s time for the cruisey part of your tour.
If there’s another richshaw around, grab it! If not, a horse-drawn carriage or someone else’s bike will do just fine.
Wheel it up through the park, don’t mind the nudies on the way, they’re just doing what comes natural.
Pass the Monopteros Greek temple and you’re on the final leg!
01.50pm - Get off at the Chinesischer Turm, Munich’s most-loved beer garden with a big ol’ Chinese pavilion in the middle. Grab yourself the adult beverage of your choice and listen to some oompah music.
You're at the end of your Munich tour! Now you can relax, safe in the knowledge that you have seen the absolute hands down best of everything the city has to offer.
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